Your Identity Is Not Your J.O.B.
Your identity is not what you do for a living to make money- that is a tough phrase to digest.
What does that mean for those who are climbing the corporate ladder to be more, to get that management position? Or for the person who is after that degree because then they can finally get that job or finally show that they graduated. Or for the stay at home mom that is proud to tell others their job title?! Or even that non-profit director?
Think about it this way---> Deep down what are you actually chasing?
Most-likely it is to feel worthy, show status to others, to feel superior and proud, or to prove to others that you hold this GRAND title, or possibly to stack your achievements to show them off to others. If your job, job title or degree was taken away from you today who would you be? At the end of your life do you want someone to say, "She worked a lot, but had a lot of great shoes" or "She touched so many lives and made this world a better place"?
A lot of people put their self worth into what they do for a living.
“Self-worth cannot be verified by others. You are worthy because you say it is so. If you depend on others for your value it is other-worth.” ~ Wayne Dyer
What if you looked at your identity as characteristics and how you treat people instead:
How do you treat other people? (kind, caring, check on other people, or do you snap when your kids ask for something, crabby most of the time, respond with something about you instead of really listening to a friend)
How do you treat yourself? (often kind and positive to myself about my appearance and the way I handle things, or do you criticize yourself all day long and mentally beat yourself up)
Do you take time for your family- without a phone nearby?
Do you volunteer or give back to others?
What do you like to do in your free-time?
By taking inventory of your characteristics and how you act can be a great starting point on what to pay attention to. If you are realizing you snap at your kids a lot or only spend time with them while you are texting or scrolling social media, use that. Don't feel bad about it, it is just a realization and be proud you recognize it and want to make a change.
A change can look like:
1. Picking a day of the week, maybe Wednesdays after supper is now called "family hour" or "game night". If you tell your kids about it, they might be able to help stay accountable for this family time. Baby steps can make a world of difference. Maybe that will change your inner dialog of Lawyer to---> Dad of the Year and Uno Champion.
2. Realizing you are a workaholic and do not take time for the things you love and care about (or time for yourself to recharge) Think about the things you loved to do as a kid. Make a list and schedule sometime to do that on a regular basis. An example could be: spending time upnorth or being outdoors. Maybe that starts with a 10 minute walk on your lunch break twice a week. Or joining a meetup group for outdoors enthusiasts. Finding a weekend to go upnorth to a family cabin or even renting an place or hotel.
3. Acts of kindness- help out at a food pantry, homeless shelter, humane society, church, or anywhere that is looking for volunteers.
As of today what would you say your identity is?
-Gina Peotter
Executive Director Hope's House (and a life long helper and personal development learner)
www.hopeshousewi.com